You’ve been warned! This post is going to be touchy-feely, so if you’re allergic to that please just move on.
Kili and I started the day with our usual walk. I was looking for the plateau we’d found earlier and walked the back way from. Instead we ended up on another anonymous hill. Kili made a friend of another dog out walking her humans. They nicely took her off her leash so she could chase Kili up and down the hills until I remembered the Kryptonite I carry in my pockets in the form of tennis balls! Then he forgot her and drooled and salivated while they gratefully leashed their dog and took off while the going was good. This afternoon we did finally find the plateau and played ball until Kili had a tongue dragging the ground he was so tired. It was nice.
So where is the touchy feely? Well, I’m just not feeling the best here in Craggy Wash. I feel like I’ve been abandoned and dropped as a friend in favor of others. So that’s not really the whole situation, but in my eyes it’s the gist. Craggy Wash is not really a place to go alone unless you are really into solitude. There are so many nooks and cranys to the place. Last year was fun because I was part of the group, camped near them, did alot alone, but they were always there and we often did campfires and went into town together and walks and chatted and stuff like that.
This year, I knew something was off even before I came because the group didn’t want to commit to a day or time they were coming to Craggy Wash. A couple days, then a week, then we’re not sure. I’m trying really hard not to take things personally because I do know that not everything is about me, contrary to what certain people might think! So I just brushed off the vagueness and decided to come when *I* wanted to come since that was the vibe I was getting from “the group”. I let everyone know what I was doing. Got up here Thursday afternoon, and found a spot that had a lot of room all around it for others in the group to camp.
Then later that afternoon, another couple in the group drove by and stopped and offered me a ride into town. Really nice. And I mean that, it’s not sarcastic. They are nice and it was a nice thing to do.
Turns out they were camped a lot further into the wash, so a nice hike for me. And they had a lot of space open around them as well and everyone was expected to camp near them.
So see, I never got that memo. And I was already set up camp which is not something you want to do often if you can help it.
The rest of the group did proceed to arrive in the next few days and as expected they all camped near the first couple. So again I’m the odd one out and far enough away that it’s a chore for me to try to interact with any of them. They only interact with me if they happen to be driving past and I happen to be out and they know I saw them. (now that is not a fact, but how it seems to me). No one deliberately walks down to my campsite to just chat.
I’m having to accept that I’m just not a person that people want to be around. That’s a bitter pill to swallow, I have to tell you.
And it’s a bitter pill to realize that I’m going to be alone this whole trip. If there was no Kili, that would be that, I’d give up.
So for now I think I’m just going to only count on myself and only do what I want to do and leave this place as soon as I can. Which will probably be Thursday or Friday. I’ll go to Phoenix and either store my trailer for a week and stay with Burton, or stay at an RV park in Glendale, or a third option is public land in Buckeye. Maybe a combination of all three.
Then I can go to Dallas and see how I can help Matt, and maybe after that, come back to Havasu or Quartzsite or wherever the wind takes me. But the bottom line is I have to never let myself get attached to anyone because it hurts to bad to be ignored when they inevitably get tired of you or someone better or more interesting comes along.
Okay, so whiny rant done. 🙂